If I was stuck in a nursing home...

Late night priority 3 call to an infamous nursing home in our city to take a patient with failure to thrive to the hospital.

That patient is not part of the story, but the circumstances of his stay and his roommate are.

Nursing homes can be profitable, can be swanky and nice, and can treat its patients well. Unfortunately, most nursing homes are not like that and to live in a nursing home like that costs vasts amount of money. This nursing home fits none of the above - much of its funding is derived from the bare minimum that medicare pays resulting in crowded rooms, aging facilities and transient staff.

The patient was found at the end of the hallway in a room with three other patients, all bed-ridden, unable to speak and probably close to forgotten by their families. The LPN responsible overnight for this patient who was surprisingly helpful, nice and provided a full report noted that the patient's failure to thrive was noticed because he was failing to take part in a moaning contest akin to a tennis match with the roommate diagonally opposite from his bed. The room crammed four bed ridden patients allowing them no privacy. Granted, considering their predicament, they had little awareness of their lack of privacy and such rooming arrangements were the norm for this facility and not the exception.

Yet this story is not entertaining for the lack of privacy or the depressing conditions in which some of the elderly live.

Slightly hunched and focused on the blood pressure meter as I sought to get some of the required vital signs needed to bill for the transport (I note this in my flippant tone since we were nothing more than a taxi cab with a bed for this ride to the hospital), my goal was to finish this transport as quickly as possible. When I lifted my head, my stethoscope still within my ears muting my surroundings, my mind already ignoring my nose's identification of that unique nursing home smell, my eyes caught an eyeful from a tv located across the room and operated by one of the patients. It took me a moment to process that I was now watching hardcore lesbian porn along with the occupant of the bed across the room from my patient's. Unsure of how to proceed, my partner noted that he had been aware of it from the minute we walked in but had avoided commenting. The facility nurse laughed as she noticed my attention distracted and said, "Oh he watches that every night. It took me a while to get used to it myself but now I just laugh."

The occupant of that bed was awake, was young for his surroundings, perhaps in his 40s, and apparently disabled from a motorcycle accident leaving him unable to speak, trapped in a motorized wheelchair but apparently fully cognizant of his surroundings. He was the victim of the disability which I would never want -- a working mind in a broken body. My partner asked him if he was having fun, and with a wide grin on his face he nodded enthusiastically as the playback of one woman using a large portion of her hand on the genitals of the other continued. The facility nurse laughed again and asked him if he had drank his beer for the night to which he shook his head. "Oh, your license was suspended after your accident." She quickly clarified to us that she wasn't referring to the motorcycle accident that had placed him in this facility but to his operating his motorized wheelchair within the hallways of the nursing home. As we exited the room, she pointed out a water fountain dislodged from the wall and resting on the floor. The porn watching bed ridden former motorcycle driver had after drinking his ration of beer for the night taken out the water fountain while motoring through the hallway on his wheelchair.

Our patient continued to rest on our cot, lethargic and sullen with no obvious findings that we could treat as we left the nursing home allowing my partner and I to attempt to summarizing what we had just experienced. My partner astutely noted that considering the quality of life resulting from that type of brain injury, what could be better than spending the rest of your invalid days drinking, watching porn and enjoying the last few of life's joys available in your current disabled state while residing in a nursing home?

Thoughts?